Process:
It's been years since I've been asked to write an evocative piece, so at first it was hard for me to pick a topic. I usually lean toward writing quirky narratives and I had a few ideas, but I wanted to deviate from the narrative form for this assignment. Once I settled on writing a letter to my cousin, the words initially came quickly, but because I felt a little nervous writing down some of my reflections, I came to class two weeks ago with a very rough draft.
After meeting and sharing my writing with a small group, I decided to revise my work to incorporate more snapshots of my cousin as I remember him. When I completed the first draft, the only audience I was thinking of was my cousin (the letter is addressed to him after all). Dr. Turner and Alessia helped me realize that in order to speak to a larger audience, I was going to have to support some of my musings with memories.
I'm still deciding whether or not I will actually send this letter (or an edited version).
Product:
Dear Johnny,
This letter is difficult to start. I’m not sure what life is like for you now or if anyone else in the family is taking the time to write you. If I’m the first to actually send you a letter, I think it’s important for you to know that everyone thinks about you all of the time. Whenever there’s a family gathering, everyone mentions how much they miss you and how sad this entire experience has been for the family. I’m sure that many have sat down and struggled to put their thoughts to paper, but since I’m the English major of the family, I guess I have the best shot. I do want to let you know that even if this is the first letter- that does not mean you are forgotten. We worry about you all of the time. No one hates you. We all hope you are hanging in there.
Speaking of there, I know it’s awkward to write something casual like, “How are you?” because I can imagine that the answer is far from positive. I also can’t help but wonder, “What’s jail like?” Can I ask that or is it too informal to capture the distance between us? I don’t want to be careless with language here, and I want you to be aware of the fact that although I don’t know what you need to hear, I’m trying my best to support you.
As one of your first cousins in a close-knit family, it was nearly impossible for me to believe that you hurt someone that you cared about so much. I’m not sure what kind of stress you were under when you decided that the best way to communicate your inner turmoil was to violently attack the girl you were staying with in Texas. I didn’t know her, and I’m not sure if she was unkind to you. I can only imagine that she must have broken your heart in the worst possible way. But, even with this image in mind, I can’t quite believe that you felt the only way to solve the problem was to stab her. You’ve always been a gentle and funny kid. I remember the speech you gave at your graduation party. It was so silly and honest. I can see you standing in front of the crowd in a collared shirt and slacks balancing your cue cards and the microphone. Remember when you decided to go off the script to thank your parents and you just threw the cue cards in the air? That was hysterical. When I reflect on that day, I can’t fathom the desperate turn of events that landed you in jail.
Was it the fact that you never had a chance to move out of the house? Did it feel like moving to Texas with this girl was your one way to be a man? Was it because your mom acted a little too protective of you? You were her baby and when you were diagnosed with epilepsy she definitely tried to keep you home and out of harm’s way. I know it was frustrating that she didn’t let you drive for two years after the diagnosis. When was that concert you begged her to drop you off at, but she said it was too dangerous for you to go? I think it was after your senior year of high school. I know that was hard, but she was trying to help you. Was it because this girl was your first serious girlfriend? I know that when you lose your first love it’s hard to imagine that you can ever feel loved again. When my high school boyfriend broke up with me, I didn’t think anyone would ever like me again, but it really does get better. Was it her rejection what made you so hopeless?
I want to know, John. Everyone does. We are all wondering how we can help you and in order to do that, it would help us if you could offer a small glimpse into what you were feeling then and how you feel now. It’s hard for me to imagine that the cousin I remember having movie nights with is completely gone. Even after digesting the fact that you are serving time, I’m still hoping that we can move through this episode as gracefully as possible and that one day the family will get you back and be whole again. Please don’t give up on yourself again, John. We haven’t given up on you.
Love,
Michelle
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Writing assessment! Oh my!
When reading Smagorinsky’s Research on Composition, I was disappointed, but not entirely surprised to read about the ongoing struggle teachers, researchers and states grapple with when trying to assess student writing. I mentioned that for many teachers using a rubric to grade writing can be challenging in my philosophy, so I was not surprised when the topic of rubrics and assessment came up in Chapter 3.
While reading through Chapter 3, I was surprised to read about three different types of writing rubrics because throughout my teaching career the word rubric has been thrown around so much that any grading worksheet stapled on top of an essay constitutes a rubric in my mind. The idea of holistic rubrics, primary trait rubrics and analytical rubrics made sense to me and I have to admit that when I think about a rubric, most likely, I’m thinking of an analytical rubric. I’m curious to see if anyone has used a holistic or primary trait rubric because in my experience rubrics have point values assigned to different writing traits and usually tally up to equal 100 points.
As I continued to read about the assessment of Secondary writing, the fact that most rubrics are vague and unclear frustrated me. On page 52, Smagorinsky reports that, “even though American students need not meet high standards for support, elaboration, or precise language, only about a quarter of them score at the level of proficient. The vast majority are not proficient according to the expert definition, even though the standards are vague and not very stringent.”
Honestly, it’s that type of unhelpful confusing state feedback that makes teaching writing utterly perplexing. Later in the chapter, the author reflects on the fact that the high stakes testing environment is impacting the way teachers prepare and present writing instruction (maybe because we’re being graded by the test results) and that some teachers use state sample materials as a model for classroom writing. I hate to admit that I am one of those teachers. Couple this fact with the data on test score gaps and it’s a miracle any of my students can communicate in writing.
Based on the data in this chapter and the bind teachers of high needs schools get into with mandated state tests, I struggle to find advice for my teachers. We need high scores on the test to keep our school open, but the materials provided by the state are weak and bias… so should I even prepare my students for the state format of a single writing snapshot? Maybe I should just teach my students the writing process (rather than a 30 minute response) and hope that they gain the knowledge to support them on this vaguely graded unhelpful state assessment? I don’t know. Maybe I should teach in Kentucky where the state at least values the student’s writing portfolio?
While reading through Chapter 3, I was surprised to read about three different types of writing rubrics because throughout my teaching career the word rubric has been thrown around so much that any grading worksheet stapled on top of an essay constitutes a rubric in my mind. The idea of holistic rubrics, primary trait rubrics and analytical rubrics made sense to me and I have to admit that when I think about a rubric, most likely, I’m thinking of an analytical rubric. I’m curious to see if anyone has used a holistic or primary trait rubric because in my experience rubrics have point values assigned to different writing traits and usually tally up to equal 100 points.
As I continued to read about the assessment of Secondary writing, the fact that most rubrics are vague and unclear frustrated me. On page 52, Smagorinsky reports that, “even though American students need not meet high standards for support, elaboration, or precise language, only about a quarter of them score at the level of proficient. The vast majority are not proficient according to the expert definition, even though the standards are vague and not very stringent.”
Honestly, it’s that type of unhelpful confusing state feedback that makes teaching writing utterly perplexing. Later in the chapter, the author reflects on the fact that the high stakes testing environment is impacting the way teachers prepare and present writing instruction (maybe because we’re being graded by the test results) and that some teachers use state sample materials as a model for classroom writing. I hate to admit that I am one of those teachers. Couple this fact with the data on test score gaps and it’s a miracle any of my students can communicate in writing.
Based on the data in this chapter and the bind teachers of high needs schools get into with mandated state tests, I struggle to find advice for my teachers. We need high scores on the test to keep our school open, but the materials provided by the state are weak and bias… so should I even prepare my students for the state format of a single writing snapshot? Maybe I should just teach my students the writing process (rather than a 30 minute response) and hope that they gain the knowledge to support them on this vaguely graded unhelpful state assessment? I don’t know. Maybe I should teach in Kentucky where the state at least values the student’s writing portfolio?
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Philosophy of the Teaching of Writing- a work in progress
Writing has many forms, styles and genres. Part of the appeal of writing is its varied forms of expression. When teaching writing, one must attempt to expose students to this variety and the capacity for freedom of expression that writing offers us, in addition to the structures of grammar, sentence form and paragraphs. This difficult balance is necessary if teachers hope to cultivate a love of writing in their students.
In my experience, students are eager to participate in writing assignments early in the year when many of the assessments have a personal and creative bend. Yet, as the school year progresses, teachers focus mainly on paragraph structure and grammar which begins to become the sole focus of student writing. This structural focus eventually disengages young writers in the English classroom.
Part of the struggle that surrounds the teaching of writing is the daunting process of grading written work. In reaction to the complaint that the grading of writing is at times subjective and arbitrary, many teachers of writing have adopted rubrics to guide the grading process. Unfortunately, in many classrooms, the rubric based approach to grading leads to the teacher focusing on the easily measurable aspects of writing such as grammar and form. If this is the case, classroom feedback regarding writing leaves students correcting surface errors instead of analyzing style and purpose.
One solution I see to this dilemma is to treat writing as an individual process. Although it is a challenge to manage in a classroom, teachers must strive to treat students as writers with their own style, strengths and weaknesses. In this format, student conferencing and dialogue journals would function to support each student individually. Also, teachers would have to break the habit of relying solely on rubrics as a form of feedback. Students should maintain writing portfolios throughout the year. If used properly, writing portfolios will allow teachers and students to monitor individual growth in their work throughout the year.
In order to teach students to become writers, we must treat them as writers; as individuals expressing ideas. Although form and structure should be taught and individually monitored, teachers cannot afford to cut corners and leave the art of writing behind.
In my experience, students are eager to participate in writing assignments early in the year when many of the assessments have a personal and creative bend. Yet, as the school year progresses, teachers focus mainly on paragraph structure and grammar which begins to become the sole focus of student writing. This structural focus eventually disengages young writers in the English classroom.
Part of the struggle that surrounds the teaching of writing is the daunting process of grading written work. In reaction to the complaint that the grading of writing is at times subjective and arbitrary, many teachers of writing have adopted rubrics to guide the grading process. Unfortunately, in many classrooms, the rubric based approach to grading leads to the teacher focusing on the easily measurable aspects of writing such as grammar and form. If this is the case, classroom feedback regarding writing leaves students correcting surface errors instead of analyzing style and purpose.
One solution I see to this dilemma is to treat writing as an individual process. Although it is a challenge to manage in a classroom, teachers must strive to treat students as writers with their own style, strengths and weaknesses. In this format, student conferencing and dialogue journals would function to support each student individually. Also, teachers would have to break the habit of relying solely on rubrics as a form of feedback. Students should maintain writing portfolios throughout the year. If used properly, writing portfolios will allow teachers and students to monitor individual growth in their work throughout the year.
In order to teach students to become writers, we must treat them as writers; as individuals expressing ideas. Although form and structure should be taught and individually monitored, teachers cannot afford to cut corners and leave the art of writing behind.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Participants Page- About me.
Hello fellow writers! My name is Michelle Walker. I live in Queens with my husband and two cats. I love to read, write, travel and teach. This is my fourth year in the LLL program at Fordham and also my fourth year teaching in the city. For the last three years, I've been working with an energetic group of 7th Graders at New Heights Academy Charter School in West Harlem. I'm still at NHACS this year, but I accepted the position of Department Chair of English this summer and now my job consists of overseeing and supporting 16 teachers grade 5-12. Although I loved teaching middle school in the city, I actually started my teaching career in the suburbs of Connecticut where I taught 9th, 10th and 11th graders for five years. Both jobs have impacted my persona in the classroom and my relationship with the world of education. I'm personally thrilled to be part of this class. I thoroughly enjoy the peace of writing, but I have to admit that over the last three years, I have rarely produced any writing for pure enjoyment. I hope this class rekindles my passion for writing. I'm looking forward to working with all of you!
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